Sunday, July 19

Sunday Stretch


Mr. Brooks took a few days off for fun in the sun! Now I am back! We all saw the painting on the wall before it was ever hung. Colleen is finally leaving Y&R after not EVER having a story line that was the slightest bit interesting. Hope she does well some place else because I like Tammin Sursock!


Chance looks to be a big hit on screen. Phillip and Chance get to know each other this week. Mary Jane is running the town with Adam, no one seems to be able to stop them! Billy and Mack are the new trailer trash lovers. Billy gives all his women a nice place for sex? Chloe had the poolhouse and now Mack has the same bed her grandmother slept in with Murphy! How romantic can you get!
Lily has the sick bed at memorial and Cane is still leaving town, the long way I suppose? This crap about Nina being with Neil is retarded. We all know there is no chemistry there! Duh!... See ya Monday at Crimson Lights with Sumthen Special!!!




Wednesday, July 15

In Search Of Deacon Sharp's Tragic Childhood




Colleen discovers that Gloria the mother of match igniter Kevin Fisher, is behind her dismissal from the Newman board. JT has a run in with Kevin at Crimson Lights after he puts the video up on the TV as a joke! Colleen comes in and is embarrased by the Chipmunk Club members who are watching her tits on High DeF!
JT and Colleen head over to Jimmy's and JT suggest it is time for some pay back! Colleen agrees that since her image has been tarnished by the video that she has nothing to lose!....
Colleen meets JT at the club. Gloria and Jeffrey are having drinks at the bar. Colleen rushes over to JT's table. He has a cup cake waiting for Colleen. "What's this for" she asks.
The research on Gloria Fisher came in. It seems Gloria spent time in Vegas before she married your grandfather. JT tells Colleen.
"REALLY?"
She was involved with a man named Merrill Sharp.
As JT cuts into the cupcake to give Colleen a taste, he smiles and says...
"This Sharp guy called Gloria his cupcake and the rumor is Gloria was responsible for his wife's death!"
"DELICIOUS" .... Colleen licks her lips!
A LONG TIME AGO IN LAS VEGAS
Maxine Sharp was a self made woman. Her Oklahoma Dust bowl childhood was a distant nightmare now. Running the wedding chapel chain in Vegas had made her rich beyond her wildest dreams.
The minister dressed as Elvis idea, was such a hit that Maxine took it to the Vegas strip and produced her own Elvis impersonation show. It was sold out every week. Her new apartment on the 15 Th floor gave her excellent views of the city she loved.
Happily married to the love of her life Merrill Sharp, her child Deacon, was the sweetest boy a mother could dream of having. Deacon loved dressing as a little Elvis ring bearer on weekends at the chapel.
The Wax House
Merrill Sharp was an Australia transplant having gone to art school in California. He dreamed of being famous for his landscapes of the Australian outback. Merrill would often take time from his job as director of the celebrity wax museum to go off into the Nevada desert to sketch. Elizabeth, was never far from his mind. First loves never are. She was so innocent and soft. Like a gentle flower, fragile and so very beautiful.
The wax museum job was not what he had intended to do, but Maxine had landed him the job from her connections with Wayne Newton.
Cadillacs & Cupcakes
Detroit winters were long and cold. Unemployed and all alone with a young son. Gloria needed work. Now that Tom had disappeared and her older son Michael had left home. Gloria saw an ad in the paper for convention work in Las Vegas. She took her bags and son out of the closet. Loaded the clunker and took off for the glamour of Las Vegas Nevada.
Gloria found a job modeling Cadillac's at the auto show. She would describe the horsepower in such a sexual way, that men gathered just to listen to the hot gal from Detroit, turn pistons and 8 cylinders into male erections of equal power as Cupcake purred!... while caressing leather seating... testing every man's cruise control!
Merrill Sharp walked into the convention hall one Saturday. He happened upon Gloria. He was fascinated by the way Gloria carried herself on stage. Merrill followed Gloria on her break to the concession stand. She turned around with a cupcake in hand and from that day forward Merrill always referred to Gloria as his Cupcake.
Four years passed. Gloria would arrive in late winter and stay until May in Las Vegas working various conventions. Sometimes she would bring Kevin. But mostly Gloria left him with a friend in Detroit so he could finish out the school year. Gloria made enough money from the convention in tips that she could go back to Detroit for the rest of the year.
Merrill's Australian Trip Home
Merrill Sharp returns home for his father's funeral. After not having been there since he left over 20 years ago. Merrill tries to find Elizabeth friend. He goes back to his hometown and discovers that she has died. Merrill takes a hard look at his life and decides to end the affair with Cupcake once he returns home.
Crushed Cupcake & Splattered Dreams
Gloria returns to Vegas that winter and is devastated when Merrill tells her it is OVER! Gloria feels completely used. She tells Merrill she waisted her last years of youth on him, when she could have been searching for a good man. One who would appreciate her! Merrill walks out! An angry Gloria decides to let Maxine know just what kind of man she married. Gloria goes to the apartment tower. Maxine opens the door.... Puzzled by the lady. Gloria pushes her way into the apartment. She tells Maxine about her and Merrill's long running affair. Maxine does not believe Gloria at first, but Gloria has photos! Many photos. Maxine takes them and walks out to the balcony over looking her life. Gloria follows Maxine begins to shout! Gloria calls her a big fool! A livid, crazed Maxine reaches to push Gloria over the balcony, but Gloria fights back! Maxine falls 15 floors to her death. Gloria's emotions are wild. She grabs her purse and heads towards the door. Deacon opens the door just as Gloria is about to escape. They are face to face! Deacon is confused as Gloria runs past him to the elevator. Deacon calls for his mother. No answer. He looks around the apartment for Maxine. Deacon heres shouting from outside. He looks over the balcony railing and sees people pointing up at him. Suddenly Deacon realizes that a woman lies dead on the ground! His Mother.
WHO COULD SHE BE?
Merrill rushes home from the wax museum as the police question Deacon about what happened. He tells them about the woman. The police confirm his story with the doorman. Merrill keeps quite about his relationship with Cupcake and pretends to not understand why Gloria was in their apartment. Deacon becomes an angry and confused young man, as he suspects he father is keeping something from him about his mother's death.
Maxine's death remains unsolved to this very day. Deacon, now is a grown man... who needs some answers!

School For The Blind

Dr. Taylor advices Victor that Adam is not good for Ashley and the baby he tells Victor to send Adam to a blind school. But not let Adam know that this was Dr. Taylor's idea. Adam freaks out when Victor suggest he move out!
Lily is now at Memorial Hospital with aunt Olivia. Neil drops Tyra off at her highest grossing corner and rushes to the hospital.
Chance arrives home and hugs big mama Nina in the living room! Cane runs out to see Lily!

Wednesdays BOOBS!




Lily thinks she is pregnant, but she really has cancer. I did not know the symptoms were the same. Her periods must have stopped.

Tyra is back on the tube, acting like Neil is her man. There is something slutty about this beautiful actress. Every time Tyra is on screen it seems pornographic. Maybe that is why Devon had that weird fantasy about Tyra last month. What ever happened with that anyway?
Ashley is now the new Mrs. Newman and passes out!
JT is back on the tube also, but not much happens with the young version of Paul. He is a dull character. That is being kind!
Anna is away at school, I thought Tyra could not stand to be separated from Anna? Now it appears she could not stand to be any where near the child. Who by the way is not related to Tyra in any fashion. I wonder what the judge would think about that information?
Coffee is Done!

Tuesday, July 14

The Purple Wedding


Victoria shows up at the ranch with papers from Victor's buyout of VISA that need to be signed as her belly bulges with her real life baby. This is odd isn't it? One pretends to be pregnant while the other pretends not to be pregnant. With urgent papers covering her bump. Victoria is stunned to see that Daddy is marrying the witch of her childhood nightmares Ashley! The Dark Nights even darker daughter, says Can I stay? "Of course you can my darling" Victor is pleased.
Ashley is happy to have Victoria at the wedding and the two women hug. As they are hugging Ashley feels the baby kick! It is a Whallop nearly sending Ashley to the floor. "Hope has never kicked like that before!" exclaims a shocked Ashley. Abby rushes to feel her mother's tummy. But does not feel anything, Abby then turns up the volume on her hair to deafening levels of treble blond.
Victoria grabs a pillow and apologizes for treating Sabrina so bad and we all sigh. Yes Victoria! We know you were a cold bitch to Sabrina! Why don't you take an ad out in the New York Times already? How about perking up a bit, you are more like a character on HBO's True Blood. What is wrong with your life in Genoa City to cause you to be so depressed all the time?
Adam rushes to the pottery house and gives Sabrina's purple dress to Patty. He tells her to put it on and invites her to be part of his sick obsessive torment of Ashley. Patty agrees as long as she can get a glimpse of Jack in the process. Victor's children really hate Ashley for some reason. Abby was considerate enough to show up for the occasion as does Jack. But we all know that Victor has sent the Bardwell's after Colleen's breast, so she is a no show at her aunt's impromptu wedding.
Patty makes her way out to the main house, just in time to see Jack go into the house. "Oh Jack you love me and will soon be all mine." says Patty.
Jack and Victor trade words of spit, before the wedding proceeds to "I DO"
Patty, now standing in the front window, which by the way would have a security camera pointed on it, wouldn't you think? Or have they all been pointed to the sky? Remember Victor even upgraded the ranch's security system last year, she is spotted by Ashley but no one else, of course!
Ashley screams, of course.
But I have not scene the show yet, of course!
But that is (basically) what happens.



Young & Restless Ratings Are Up! Can't You See Them Bounce?




The boycotter's are lying about not watching, because the ratings have actually gone up for Y&R. Feel that PUMP! I have to agree that when you consider the whole show. It is remarkedly better than it was when Nikki crawled through the sand in Mexico shouting out Victor' name. The show has been adding viewers each week with this incredibly muscular writing team.

Keeping Tabs on Killing Kevin?....and more!


Colleen flashes her boobs at Jimmy's and Jeffrey has it all on camera. I assume she gets voted off the Newman Board. Gloria and Jeffrey have orgasms over this, of course.
The Chancellor Mansion has how many people living there?... We have Jill, Kay, Murphy, Nina, Chloe, Delia, Mack, Esther, Phillip and now the Iraqi vet with a nose bleed coming to town. Pretty much a full house. I suppose after making all those beds and washing the breakfast dishes, Esther thinks a round the world cruise with Roger doesn't seem so bad after all! Chance is going to find out he does not have Huntington's disease. His condition is caused by the water he drank or the air he breathed in Iraq.

I wonder if Cane should get the proceeds from Jimmie's if he used cash from his trust fund to buy the place.

Again where is the news media on the return of Phillip Chancellor III?????

Rafe and Colleen have become two of my favorites to watch together. Now that Colleen lives alone in the elephant house, it makes sense to me that Rafe should move in with Colleen. Doesn't that sound good? Then again maybe that set has been demolished by now.

Who watches over Abby? And where the hell is she? This 14 year old is never seen at the ranch or anywhere else in town. Maybe they should explain that Abby is visiting her friend in Paris this summer.

The whole show blends very well together this week and moving away from the Chipmunk crap of Kevin and Jana has really helped. That has to be one of the stupidist most "viewer insulting" pieces of junk that has ever been shown on this show. The once great acting of Rickart's "Kevin" has given way to sub par acting on his part. He walks on the show as himself, not his character. maybe that means it is time for Kevin to be Killed off the show!

WOW! My Zapato Story was Right On Target


Good Morning Genoa City... My Coffee is almost Done. Mr. Brooks got a late start today! 10 minutes to showtime. Looks like a good show today! I think Nick should probably just Buy a U-Haul to use as his personal transportation.

A Party For Colleen




Colleen strolls into the hospital room with flowers for Summer. Why? She is not related nor has she ever spent any time with the little girl. Colleen's sudden appearance causes Victor to think of proposing marriage to Ashley and some kind of special cruel humiliation for Colleen as a honeymoon substitute! He calls his jeweler first. Then the Bardwells.

Victor walks into Crimson Lights with his new debit card and sits down next to Gloria. He has a plan! As I type and play with paragraphs, I am mystified that Colleen has ignored my empty cup until I remember the career waitress doesn't work here anymore.
Rafe runs out to the patio as I pour my own coffee, to go sit with the ex-waitress.

Gloria's eye's bulge as Victor discusses his idea that Colleen be discredited... "so you can shove her over a cliff?" Gloria adds with Gleam... With Ashley on his mind... he adds that no harm should come to Colleen. But does not insist on a guarantee, of course!
Gloria tells Jeffrey "This is the most Abbott fun she has had in months and makes plans for Victor's new niece!"

"A little personal humiliation never hurt anyone, besides Brad is dead, so he won't be able to protect her" thinks Victor.

He calls JT to cancel the Colleen Investigation. As I walk out of Crimson Lights I here Victor mutter under his breath "If I want something done right I have to do it myself, JT is such pain in the ass!"

Monday, July 13

Malcolm Winters Returns!


Malcolm returns to Genoa City as Lily lays in a coma. I thought it may be Colleen but I was wrong. It is Lily's cancer that brings her natural father home for 3 days.
Lily awakens when Malcolm comes to her bedside and starts the fight for her life as she battles ovarian cancer.
Cane is at Lily's bedside when she wakes, even though Neil orders Cane stay away from the hospital.

Zapato Mauls KITTY!

Phyllis tells Jack about Mary Jane's roll in Summer's peanut butter coma. Jack is livid with Mary Jane for doing this to a child that is not his! The Newman child protector puts on his cape and takes to flight to bring to justice the evil Mary Jane Benson.
Too bad Victor Newman doesn't have the same concern for the Abbott children, as this week Victor goes after Colleen by making the sleazy Jeffrey Bardwell get Colleen incredibly loaded on booze. Have you ever heard of Cassie's challenge Victor? The orphaned daughter of Victor's grandson's rescuer from the frozen pond has compromising pictures taken and plastered on the internet.
Nice move Victor. This should calm Ashley's nerves.
After Jack lures Mary Jane off the ranch in order to set a trap for her. Kitty is left all alone in the pottery house, unattended and out of her cage. Zapato catches a scent of Kitty while going for a walk. He pushes the door open and sees KITTY starring back at him. Curious about the stiff cat, Zapato grabs Kitty and begins to maul the dead stuffed cat. When Patty rushes back in, she sees Zapato and smashes a pot on poor Zap's head!

Where Is The Press?


I find it odd that the press is not covering the return of a dead man. The story of Phillip's return would be covered by at least the local media. But there is yet to be any reporters wanting information. None! Although the Chipmunk bandit still has all the public's attention. Even Tommy LaSorda was up to speed on Kevin's chipmunk bank robbery. But then again bank robberies only happen.... what... 50 times a day.... in America.
Where as heir's to a billion dollar conglomerate coming back to life is quite special, don't you think Charlie Gibson?
I would have expected this news to have been texted by Chloe to just about everyone she ever met in her life by now.

Line of The Day

Jill - "You made Katherine believe her dreams about switching the babies were true" What is Phillip a mind reader Jill? How would Phillip know what Katherine was dreaming about? He didn't have a clue about that Jill. Isn't it strange though that Katherine thought she had switched the babies at the same time Phillip was plotting to bring himself to life again......Everything is a coincidence on soap operas!

Phillip's Love Life


Did I hear this right? Phillip has never had a lover! You mean he never had sex with a man, but was so desperate to leave his life in Genoa City because he was gay that he faked his own death! Was sex with poor Nina so traumatic, that Phillip never wanted to touch another human being.
If he was never going to have sex any way..... why did he bother with this entire fake death scheme? I have been to Australia, they have the most gorgeous gay men you can imagine. Australia was originally a penal colony for Britain. They were forced to do hard labor and only the strongest survived. The men are rugged looking and hot as hell. If Phillip could not find a lover there, good luck in finding one in Wisconsin!
Phillip sat at this buffet for 20 years and never so much as had a cucumber salad. Or a roast beef sandwich? Not even a Hero to go! So Phillip did have sex with Nina, but was drunk. He never got drunk in Australia at his BAR! What the hell did he do on Saturday nights?
How is it possible that this guy never had a lover, when the whole reason he did this to his family was so he could be open to himself about who he was! What was the point of coming out of the closet to Phillip?
He could cruise guys as a straight man anywhere.... You know Phillip....all you had to do was join a hot gym and you never would have had to abandon your son and break Jill's heart if all you were going to do was fantasize about men for 20 years.

Sunday, July 12

Are We Being Punished? Just Shoot Us Now


I think it is weird that soap opera writers have a thing about baby switching. I mean they are babies. It is not like we are talking about boats or vacation homes.
Why is baby switching so popular? Do the women who watch, like these story lines? Or do the writers just think they do? Could it be that the 20-25 year old women, who have not had one for there age group- sell this market? Because we older folks have had our fill with the Lauren and Sheila sag from 20 years ago.
The ratings must be great on these stories or otherwise the writers would not do them. But Gosh! For us older folks another baby switch is like a kick in the ass! And this one is even weirder because it involves a 50 year old woman, whom the doctor told after her last baby died, that she would definitely never have another child - plus Brad the sperm whale- was her husband.
The other surprised parent is a 70 year old man who had a vasectomy only to have it undone at the age of what 67? Victor was married to Nikki at the time who must have wondered why Victor would have it reversed without telling her, since more children were not in her plans! I am hoping for a quick resolution rather than a really long one.
Sharon is going to suffer the lose of another baby girl. Talk about fun viewing pleasure? Why not just have Sharon publicly flogged on the GCAC basketball court? This makes three now. Cassie, Faith and the infant daughter she lost after falling down at the cabin after a fight with Nickers, the indecisive zipper.

Skye's Letter


Dr. Taylor is being forced into this baby drama by a letter from the chopped up Skye. Who was killed and dismembered by David Chow.
When Skye went missing her parents and Adam searched frantically for her. The NY state police would have gone through her belongings at her apartment in New York. Her friends would have been questioned.
Are we to believe that Skye sent Adam a letter, the only letter that detailed her molestation by Dr. Taylor? Skye's friends were also victims of Dr. Taylor, remember that is what Adam told us!
So why did they not come forward with information about Dr. Taylor when Skye went missing? Since this is the backbone of Adam's blackmail against Dr. Taylor. It is a weak story, when the doctor has live breathing women who could ruin him. A letter from a dead woman is basically hear say unless she testifies in court under oath. Am I not right about this?
What kind of girlfriends would not have spoken to the police about Dr. Taylor? If they were all keeping this secret and Skye disappears you would think that he would be suspect Number One.
Why hasn't the doctor ever asked Adam if he could see a copy of the alleged letter?

Friday, July 10

Can People Melt?


I just got back from a trip to Whole Foods. My eggs were hard boiled by the time I got them to the car. That is how dam hot it is outside. My bread turned to toast! The milk is now sour cream. How long is this heat wave going to last? What was the temperature today 124? This high pressure system is setting right on top of Texas or should I call it the state of Toast. Yes we are Toastans now... No wonder I wished Summer would die. Just the mention of Summer makes me boil.

Specialist?

Line of The Day... "She'll be disorientated for a while, that's normal after coming out of a coma" You need a specialists for that information?

Scenes From A Friday In Genoa City

Dr. Taylor could just inject the blind Adam with a drug over dose? I mean why not Dr. Taylor, haven't you been watching the news? You have the access and he is blackmailing you and forcing you to use all you AAdvantage miles on American Airlines.




Ashley begins to think that something is wrong with Hope, but never questions why a doctor from Boston is willing to fly to Genoa City just to see her!
Paul has glasses on today, this is a first. Wonder what is up with that. Old age or Eye infection? Chris Engen is totally forgotten as the New Adam is a much better actor. He really screwed up by jumping ship in the middle of an economic hurricane. How does Engen pay his rent? With a Bad Reputation Check? Phyllis gets to say O Summer! as we say :o(h Summer:-( sigh! Mary Jane chooses the pottery house over a fat Brazilian bank account and nude beach boys? She is CRAZY!





Amber tells Jana about her cousin Becky, who child's she switched out for her own dead baby. Dr. Taylor overhears Amber's story of passing the child off as Rick Forrestor's baby boy as he pours cream into his coffee and thus begins the dreaded Hope & faith baby switch drama that we are all already sick and tired of!





Phyllis has Summer back! Ya hay.. ho ho hum.. bum me out? I wish the peanut kiss would have been the kiss of death for Summer. Now we get to see Phyllis pretend mom again. SIGH. Not her best role is it? She really is so bad at playing a mother isn't she?


Turning Faith Into Hope


It is not a question of Faith anymore it is all about Hope. Ashley is going to tell Sharon about the wonderful Dr. Taylor. Sharon will then become a patient of Dr. Taylor's on one of his visits from Boston. When Sharon goes into labor Dr. Taylor will be notified via Adam that the baby is on the way. It is probably at this point that Sharon spills the beans to Nick that Faith is their baby although Jack has been pushing for a name change to Carol! The best darn secretary that ever lived.
Dr. Taylor injects something into Ashley that simulates Labor pains and she is rushed to memorial. Olivia is away at a convention in Denver while all this is going down. Dr. Taylor has a stillborn from some other woman stashed away? Yuk I know, but the devil is in the details here. Or better yet the baby is horrifically deformed!
Nick has it out with Jack as all of this goes down in the hallway as Phyllis watches. Soon doctor Taylor comes out and tells Nick the terrible news of Faiths death. Ashley has been knocked out and awakens with Victor holding Hope at her bedside......
As I drink my coffee and wake up this Friday morning.... I have to say I hate baby switching stories! We all know the outcomes! And they drag on for years! And they are boring! We are supposed to feel the pain this causes but it is not working this time!
Victor is basically a Vicodin pill, we are not going to feel pain for this guy. Ashley is always in pain so we are use to that! Nick is a turd so no one feels sorry for a lump of shit! Sharon uses pain as makeup so we expect her to wear it well everyday, otherwise I really do not know what Sharon would look like! As for Jack, he would just send Carol to boarding school if it turned out it was his child anyway. Well, I think Mr. Brooks is awake now!

Thursday, July 9

Take a "Chance" on Mr. Brook's Spoilers

The troops from Iraq are called home and Chance arrives in time to find Nina in the living room. Kay and Jill accept Phillip's sexuality after Jill sucks the whole dam tale out of Nina's tight lipped mouth. Chance on the other hand may not like that daddy likes daddies. He locks lips with Chloe. I suppose CBS will show that kiss! Victor realizes that he is to blame for Summer's peanut coma and tries to cover a bit. Nick gets on the case. So that must mean Victor is safe from being exposed for now. Ashley gets ready to wed Victor after she sees a fake sonogram that Dr. Taylor flew in to perform on that magical visualizing monitor. Patty dresses up for the occasion in Sabrina's purple dress and Ashley happens to see her in the front window. That dress gets more airtime than JT! Deacon has Danny arrested for something, probably stupidity. He forces Amber to have sex with him. That old SEX blackmail story again...... oh dinner drinks be back soon! Nick goes back to Phyllis as usual and Sharon plans on being at the mansion for a few days until she tells Jack that he ain't no daddy! Jack is at his sister's wedding as Victor wonders about how crazy is the lovely Ashley. Lily has ovarian cancer, but she isn't going to die, so we really don't care about this story. Cane goes back to her and she goes back to him. A long drawn out story with an ending that we already know. I hate those! .... oh I forgot to mention Gloria and Jeffrey get Colleen drunk so they can show pictures of her on the internet to get her fired from the Newman Board.

Summer Wakes Up!

Summer wakes up! Rats!....They figure out it was a Mary Jane Cookie Monster Kiss and the judge lifts the order so Phyllis can be with Summer! MOMMA MOMMA she shouts and now the hunt for Mary Jane is on!... Zapato only has days to live!

Mary Jane's New Living Quarters

Mary Jane meets Adam outside at the ranch. They agree to help one another be evil and Adam grabs a key to the Pottery House (I did not know this existed) He tells her she can stay there on the ranch as the security guards go looking for an intruder. I guess they do not know about the Pottery House either? Now, I have to assume that this is the place that the baby switch happens or the place that Nikki is held captive by Mary Jane. I am going with the Nikki version. Mary Jane must hold her there for a few weeks. Remember Adam still has a pin point of vision left in his eyes.

Was Deacon Behind Sabrina's Murder?




With Deacon Sharp's arrival into Genoa City today...the news got me thinking of art supplies and Sabrina's murder. Who was the hit on that David Chow refused to do? Walter Palin was furious with Chow for refusing the hit. So he killed him. Was Sabrina the target? Did Sabrina know something about Deacon's under handed art dealings? He obviously can get people killed. With Victoria involved I do believe this story is tied to Sabrina's death in some fashion. It is interesting that this all started with Victoria buying back Sabrina's art collection. But what does Deacon need Amber for? What does he want Amber to do for him? There is an opening for a good story here and this is shaping up to be another winner for the writers who have done a superb job of making these old stories into fine new tales. Every story one the show is great right now, there is just simply no denying that fact anymore!

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